Going Home (Kaz)

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She felt his finger slowly tracing along that scar, a little shiver running down her spine as she allowed her eyes to flutter closed, a soft little nibble being given to her lower lip. Then as his hands reached down, hooking into the bottom of her shirt and pulling it off over her head she would grin slightly, lips continuing to trail along his flesh, a soft flick of her tongue every now and then, savoring the taste of him.

Then came that bite against her neck, a rather heated moan given against his flesh, though quickly enough it was followed by a little growl that was slightly more feral, slightly more possessive. She knew what he was saying, but at the same time, the animalistic side of her was far too gone and far too into the moment to just roll over and obey. Nope, it wanted to play and as a result she would sink her teeth into his shoulder, another bite mark and more blood being released into her mouth...causing her to moan softly as she lapped at it and once again rocked her hips down onto his own.

Her hands now gripped his body tighter, nails digging into his flesh just slightly as she held herself against him. Dark locks spilling around them, falling across his flesh, a cool contrast against the his heated body.....that lilac scent engulfing the air around them.

Eventually, she would pull back, blood on her lips and looking at him with those ever changing eyes as she noted the crimson stains upon his own. A grin curling upon her features as she would lower herself once more, this time her lips pressing feverishly against his own, tongue tracing along them in order to taste the intoxicating mixture of her blood with his own. She couldn't explain, even if she tried, how amazing that was for her....but it was so much more intimate than she could ever possibly imagine being with anyone else. Though it wasn't long before her tongue pressed past his lips, deepening that kiss with as much fire and passion as she could possibly contain...Her hands sliding downward, further and further still....

She was tired of waiting and from the bite he had given her, she could tell he was as well....So, without a second thought she would......

TIME SKIP

[Legion]

Her growl that came after his bite drew an animalistic grin from him. While this stuff was still more her domain then his Patrick couldn't help but mold to her a bit as they made love and as drawing blood occurred more frequently, and her feral side came out, she was drawing one from Patrick as well. Patrick's grin only widening when she decided that she wasn't just going to roll over and obey. He really did like this side of her, and liked to encourage it ever so often, thinking that it was good for her self esteem, so he would let her keep control, this time, a pleasured hiss given as her teeth sunk into his shoulder, feeling blood flow out of the wound into her mouth. Another rock of her hips gaining an impatient groan from him, once again urging her to hurry up as his hand ran down her back, while at the same time feeling her cool hair on his warm body. Fighting the animalistic urge to take control himself he gave a slight growl of his own, yeah, she was really rubbing of on him, bidding her onward.

When she pulled back grinning, blood dripping from her lips, further upon his chest Patrick's own grin would only widen. The sight of her like this driving him wild. When she finally leaned down for the kiss and her lips met his, there was nothing but passion in Patrick's kiss, one hand grasping the back of her head pulling into him. While Patrick would never really be able to understand what it was like for her, tasting his and her blood as their tongues met, he could at least feed off her energy. That was not difficult, nor unpleasurable to do. Tongue meeting hers as vigorously as hers met his, almost vying for control as they tasted not only eachother but themselves on the other.

As her hands slid down him towards their final destination Patrick's would firmly grasp her ass just before...

TIME SKIP

Patrick panted fairly heavily as she rolled to his side, and him to his. A loving but mischievous grin plastered across his bloodied face, and to be fair at this point, figure as he looked her in the eyes, "Are ye feeling better my love?"

A hand reaching across brushing a few strands of hair gently behind her ear as his hand softly grasped her cheek, looking at her own bloodied face with a smile. After a moment he'd look down at the bed and laughed softly for a moment before sharing with her, "I think we're going to need red sheets."

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She rolled onto her side, panting heavily as her tongue ran along her lips, trying to clean away the blood that still lingered upon them. She knew that she was a mess, though he was by far no better off than she was. Those eyes meeting his own, she would smile softly as his fingers brushed her hair back behind her ear. "Yes, much better." Nodding slightly before she would tilt her head just slightly and nuzzle into that hand that now rested against her cheek.

Yet when he spoke about the sheets she couldn't help but give him a rather sheepish, almost innocent little smile, chuckling softly as she shrugged. "Yeah, that probably would not be a bad idea." Softly biting her lower lip as she leaned over and lightly nuzzled her nose against the side of his neck, gently and slowly brushing her lips against his flesh.

She didn't know if she would ever be able to really explain what it was that he did to her, what it felt like for her to be with him like that. It was so much different than any other time she had been with somebody. Sure, she had had much, much rougher, more intense sex before, but that had been completely different. No, that had been impersonal, it had been...empty. Thinking back on it now, she regretted it. But never once, not even when he had pretended to want nothing to do with her, had she regretted that day she had been with him.

"I can't imagine not having you in my life..." Whispering the words softly against his flesh before she would pull back so that her eyes could again meet his own, her little hand resting upon his cheek, thumb slowly trailing along his flesh. "How are you feeling?" She didn't think she needed to clarify what she was referring to. True, he had not been physically sick like she had, and like she was likely to be again, but he had been going through some pretty rough stuff when she found him...The worry and concern evident in her tone and in her gaze as she watched him.

[Legion]

"I'm glad," Patrick smiled softly at her response. Although it was amusing that she could be after this, especially after being sick. He knew that she had difficulty separating her need from blood from having sex, as if that were a need in itself, which it pretty much was, still though. It was odd that she could have sex after being sick. Patrick knew he wouldn't be able to even if he really wanted to. But he figured it wasn't a need for him? Just something he really wanted.

"Besides, red's more romantic anyway, vibrant, full of life and passion," Patrick said, grinning as she chuckled at his joke. But more or less, that had been a true suggestion, not just a joke. He didn't mind the blood, but at the same time he wasn't so sure he wanted the bed looking like a warzone. Like it was a boxing ring or something. Sure he loved the biting, the bleeding the blood but there was something about it staining the bed sheets in a random manner. It wasn't something he cared for, but he couldn't exactly put his finger on it.

As she nuzzled her way into him, lips on his flesh he ran a hand through her hair, putting his nose to her hair, inhaling her scent. He loved the smell of her, that lilac scent, especially when that scent mixed with his, letting him know in another way that she was his, much like he belonged to her. He really loved that idea. They they belonged to each other. There was just something that was intrinsically appealing about that. He didn't mean to be cliche or trite or anything but it felt so right. Like they were meant for each other. Patrick didn't know if he believed in fate, nor could he say that he liked the concept, but he figured that he'd make an exception if it was in this case.

He smiled when she told him that she couldn't imagine life without him, shivering slightly as he felt those words on his flesh. Patrick couldn't really deny how that made him felt, it made him feel wanted. Like he mattered. Sure it may have seemed childish to want that feeling, but he was a kid who had so often felt like his life mattered little to anyone, even before the craziness. No, he hadn't wanted to be famous or anything but wanted would have been nice. He was beginning to fully understand why family really was important. Yeah, he had known before. But that was more intellectual. Knowledge he knew in his head and he could act out on loyalty or duty, but he was beginning to really get it now. Know it in his heart. Like it was beginning to actually be his knowledge, he was beginning to feel it. He smiled warmly at Kazumi, finally replying, "I think I'm finally beginning to understand why family's important. I mean really feel it. Thank ye Kazumi, I love ye."

When she asked him how he was, it struck him as odd at first. Physically he was okay, he hadn't been the one sick so why was she asking him? He gave her a confused look before it slowly dawned on him. When he figured it out, or at least thought he did he sighed, looking down, "I don't know."

"I mean, I'm fine. I'll survive," that was what he was best at, "But I don't know what to say. I mean I feel guilty that I still see her, that I still can't get over it the way I think I should, after so long. I mean, I guess I kind of figured that she'd be gone after we got together. Because ye know? On the day that we met, I don't think I was going to go with ye, ye remember? Something about being scared to make an actual human connection. Scared of having something to lose. Hell, she called me a piece of trash when I pretended like that day was nothing but another conquest. I just kind of figured that when we got together, and I was trying to live again, I dunno. She'd let me go and I'd stop feeling this way, and I stop seeing her or something. I dunno."

Patrick shrugged. It was an actual moment of sober vulnerability with her, and that was progress right?

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She had to admit that she agreed about the sheet thing. Red or black, those seemed to be the best options, finally dawning on her why her parents never had white sheets. Oh she was no fool, she saw the marks on Momma Mischa from time to time, though Gods knew she tried to pretend that she didn't. Really, that was not something that she wanted to think about. But yeah, she got it. "I will pick some up at the store tomorrow then..." Nodding lightly and continuing to nuzzle against him rather softly and affectionately.

Though when she looked at him, hearing him state that he was finally starting to understand the real importance of what a family was, she could not help but smile. "I love you too Patrick..." She was very happy that he felt that way, she really was....though it did make her wonder how he would feel about his "family" potentially getting a little bit bigger. A soft bite given to her lower lip, preventing herself from mentioning it. She knew that now was not the time, only confirmed by the look he got when she asked if he was okay and once he realized that she had been referring to earlier.

Her brow furrowing slightly with concern as his eyes turned downward, she would continue to allow her thumb to softly trace along his cheek. More of a reassuring gesture at this point than anything, letting him know she was there as he started to speak.

Silently she would listen, taking in everything that he said and even arching her brow a bit when he mentioned what Zea had said to him about that day they had first met. Though still she remained silent, letting him finish what he needed to say before she would lean in and softly brush the tip of her nose against his, her eyes falling closed for a moment as she simply thought about what he had said, trying to think of a way to help him, to better understand what was going on. Since well, yeah, it wasn't like she had any clue either as to why he was still being haunted by the ghost of his ex lover.

"I mean, I think its just your subconscious really. Perhaps manifesting as her? I mean, I don't really know about this kind of thing, but that is what it sounds like to me." She was sure he had already thought of that, so at this point she was just thinking out loud for the sake of trying to figure this out. "Maybe the reason that you still see her, is because deep down, you won't forgive yourself for what happened to her? I mean, maybe she still comes around, even now that you are with me, because....well...deep down you don't think you s...should be.." She bit her lip rather nervously, her eyes lowering just a bit. She was scared....She knew she shouldn't be, but deep down, she couldn't help but worry that at some point he would realize that he didn't want to be with her, that his ghosts would drive him away from her. She was terrified of losing him. Though, she supposed if it would help him figure out and get rid of these ghosts, of her ghost, then she could learn to live with it...no matter how much it would hurt.

"I mean....." She paused, brushing her tongue across her lips and forcing herself to raise her eyes to meet his once more. "How can she go away, if you can't let her go? If you cannot let that night go?" She tried her best to hide the fear in her eyes, the worry and the nervousness, but she wasn't very good at hiding things like that from the ones she loved most....Her finger softly tracing along the scar on his face, before leaning in and resting her forehead against his, eyes closed and a little sigh passing her lips. She didn't say anything....because she didn't know what to say. At least not until she knew what he thought about the things she had said so far.

[Legion]

"I'll come with ye," Patrick whispered affectionately into her ear. Not that he felt she had to babysit her or something, or thought she'd pick out the wrong sheets, he just wanted to spend the time with her. Loving how a mundane trip to the store with her was more then just a boring necessity. Not that he wouldn't rather be doing other things with her but still. He liked it all the same.

Smiling when she said she loved him, Feeling loved and wanted. Those as things went on and that frown formed upon his face as he began to speak about what he really didn't want to, it was her hand, her fingers on his face that kept him going. Reassuring him that everything was going to be alright. And so he did, kept speaking until he was done. When he was it was her nose brushing against his that reassured him. Made him think he wasn't crazy, or at least crazy repulsive, something like that.

When she began to speak Patrick listened intently. He really did value her opinion on these sorts of things. It was just something he did without much of a thought. He couldn't explain it, he just trusted her when it came to these kinds of things. And so his rapt attention was given to her, considering everything she said, even if he had considered it before. Patrick just saw her as more knowledgeable on these things.

"Subconscious?" Patrick asked, "I don't know. I mean, probably. I didn't start seeing them, seeing her until I was sprayed with that datura shit. But they were a lot different when I was under the influence of that. When I was first seeing them, I knew that they weren't real. But then, when I got out, after awhile they changed. It was weird. Seemed more real, not that they didn't before, I dunno. Sometime I think they aren't real, still. But I don't know. Sometimes I have a hard time convincing myself of that."

That was something he had never confessed to anyone. Sure, other people had seen him talking to his ghosts. But he had always dismissed it and especially never told anyone that he had trouble telling if they were real or not. Patrick's gaze stayed downward, slightly fearful of its own self. This was as vulnerable as he'd ever been. He couldn't deny that he was scared of her thinking he was just too insane. Telling him to get out or something.

"Should I be able to forgive myself for doing such a thing?" Patrick asked, not defensively but honestly wanting to know, "Should I be able to forgive myself like it's nothing, especially when she doesn't have the chance to hate me, forgive me or what? I'm so tired of this hurting, so tired of feeling guilty, but I can't help but think that I deserve this. I want to let that night go, I want to forget the pain. I want her to leave, and stop hurting. But doesn't that mean I'd forget the lesson I've learned? Taught in pain? I fucked up so bad. But I'm afraid I'll do it again with ye if I don't remember. What should I do?"

Yeah, it was really very vague. Patrick really didn't mean it to be, but it was. He really wasn't too good at talking about his feelings. He did it so rarely and all. So when he did, he didn't know if it was making any sense. But he was trying to be open with Kazumi, he really was.

Patrick sighed, noting the fear in her eyes as her forehead pressed against his, her finger and its well practiced affectionate route giving him some comfort. Because the same look of fear in her eyes was in his, if not more fearful. Patrick knew damn well he was broken into a million pieces and he was so afraid that she'd not think he was worth it. Not worth the time and effort. He wanted to be honest with her. He loved her and was trying to do right by her, as much as he could.

"I don't think I deserve ye, not after I lied and robbed her of her life and a shot of real happiness with someone else. I don't know, I don't think it's right that I get a chance to be with a girl as great as ye after that," Patrick sighed before quickly continuing, fearing that she'd push him out, "But I do know that I want ye. More then anything else. I love ye Kazumi and want to make ye happy more then anything else. I want ye in my life and would do anything for ye, anything to make that happen."

And now it was time for Patrick to look into her eyes, his filled with the fear that she was going to tell him to get out, to walk away. Decide that he wasn't worth it. But he had meant every word. He'd do anything she suggested. He trusted her, figured she knew what was best...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She saw the fear, and heard it in his tone, but to think that she would ever turn her back on him, after everything that had gone on, to think that she would not want him or think him too insane...Well that was just pointless. She wasn't going to give up on him, ever. Sure, it may have been hard, but it wasn't something that you just walked away from when you loved somebody.

Still, she would let him speak once more, letting him speak of his fears, of not knowing if they were real or not. She could understand that, she really could. "When I was little, I used to think that Phee was just an imaginary friend, that she would go away. Then, I got older, she never stopped, she got worse. The entire reason we left Italy, besides the deal with Aiden and the mob, was because....a year before we moved....There were these boys, and...wel Aiden tried to stop them, but....they were so much stronger. But then, Phee started screaming....just she wouldn't stop....The last thing I remember was being grabbed....The next thing I knew, the guy was dead...blood everywhere....all over me...That's when they sent me to a shrink....and that's when I started to wonder if she is really there, or if ....if I am just that completely insane..." She sighed, shaking her head a bit.

No, he was not the only one with fears of what was real and what was not....She just wanted him to know that....needed for him to know that. Slowly her hand would brush along his cheek and travel down his neck. Letting his questions continue, wanting to help and willing to do whatever it took in order to do so. She wasn't going to pretend to be an expert, but she would tell him her thoughts regardless. She owed him that much. He had done so much for her, she wanted to do so for him. She was not beyond recognizing how vulnerable he was in this moment and it was for that reason that she continued to try and sooth and comfort him with the light touches and soft spoken words. "Forgiving yourself, is not forgetting baby....I will never, ever forget what I did to that boy. Never forget seeing his moms face on the news, pleading for his killer. But of course, my moms hid it so well, nobody will ever know...But for months, that face, her voice, it just stayed in my mind. But, eventually, I realized that yes, I had taken his life and nothing was ever going to make it right, nothing. And that included me not living my life and hanging onto the past and to what I had done, to the guilt of it." She sighed, her head tilting slightly as she moved to nuzzle into his neck, a soft little comforting purr given to him as she tried her best to bring him some kind of reassurance before pulling back and looking into his eyes which had finally turned to look at her. The look of fear in them broke her heart. It really did. But she didn't know if she could do much to help other than show him that she wasn't going to be going anywhere...Not so long as she could help it.

"Maybe, the only reason that she is still hurting, is because in your mind....you believe she is. Baby, you have held onto the way she looked at you that night, onto what mistakes you made for so long, that all you can do, is tell yourself that she is in pain, that she is hurting...When really, I think it is just you that is hurting and your mind simply creates an image of her, to punish yourself for what you can't let go of." She leaned in, her lips running slowly along his jawline as her hand fell from his face and ever so gently came to rest atop his chest, just over his heart.

"We learn from our mistakes, but they do not define us baby....What we do with the life we are given, that is what makes us who we are...This moment, right here, right now....this is a part of who you are....That night, on the dock, that is a part of who you were....I need you...I need you to be here, with me....Not there with her.....You want to make me happy? Then believe me, when I tell you, that despite whatever wrongs you have done, you are still a good man....and that I love you....If you want to make me happy, then please....be here with me.....That was one night, that went horribly wrong....but we have a chance to have many nights that go so incredibly right....I just don't want you to miss that because you are trapped in that moment..."

She was talking too much, and as she pulled back those amethyst eyes would be filled with tears, looking down at him as she tried so desperately to make him see that he could let go, that he had that chance if he would just......try. She couldn't make it happen over night, all she could do was love him every single minute of every single day they were together and hope to the Gods that it was enough.

[Legion]

Patrick listened to her story intently as she told him of how she wondered if Phee was real or not, whether she was crazy or not. Her struggle of wonder whether phee was real or not. Patrick could relate to that struggle. He thought that was where her story was going. He figured. At least letting him know that she related to wondering if the voices, the ghosts were real or not. But for her, Phee proved to be very much real. Well, for the moment it was Feht. But she was an actual part of Kazumi. Did that make Kazumi insane though? Patrick didn't think so, though admittedly he didn't really know what the word meant anymore. Legally he was sure that both him and Kazumi were technically insane. But that was besides the point. What he really wondered was about him. Were his ghosts real? No, he didn't think so. Not now at least, not with the clarity he had now. He had been "poisoned". Perhaps that was the right way of putting it? Well that's why he had seen them originally. But why still? Perhaps it was something that had been knocked loose by his subconscious, though why was another question entirely. One he wasn't sure he'd ever have the answer to.

Feeling her hand on his cheek, that soothing voice. It did what it was meant to do. It did bring relief, that crossing his face. Able to find it slightly amusing now, how much vulnerability scared him, he who had walked into situations where he wasn't sure if he was walking away, without fear. It was amusing but Patrick chalked that up to the fact that there were things that were far, far worse then death. He knew that. Regardless her touch and voice would draw a soft sheepish smile.

Listening to her continue her story, segwaying into the aftermath he listened once again unmoving. She talked about how she felt, what actually happened and how she dealt with it. Patrick understood her words. He understood them, but they were his words. Her understanding wasn't his understanding. He was too caught up on justice. Every action had a consequence and rippling repercussions. There had to be justice for your bad deeds right? How was it just to be able to move on? Of course Patrick could rationalize why she didn't need to feel bad about that boy's death but there seemed to be more at play. More then the whole, she couldn't really control her actions but he had known exactly what he was doing deal. He didn't know why but he felt it.

As she nuzzled her way into him, trying to reassure him Patrick would sigh. A weak smile given as she pulled away. But then Patrick went back to thinking, a thought, a question being vocalized, "Nothing changes?"

He listened to her opinion on the ghosts thing. Some of it, she was wrong on, he thought but some it had validity. But was she really wrong? He didn't know. Patrick knew his perception of them was shit. Maybe she was right, he thought she was on somethings. He figured perhaps she was right, she seemed to be a lot better at this stuff then he was.

"Sometimes," Patrick admitted to him using them as a possible punishment, as her lips were on his jawline, and he felt her hand on his beating heart, trying to think threw it, give her more information, get what he assumed was a more informed opinion "But then they give me advice a lot. Try and help me. Tell me to do the right things, try and get me to do them. I don't always listen, don't too often. Though I'm glad I listened and went to yer mother's pond with ye. I dunno, they confuse me. I don't think Zea wants to stick around anymore, and I don't know why she does. I don't want her around anymore. Maybe it's like ye said. She can't leave until I forgive myself? Maybe that's why she can't say that she forgives me? Because she really isn't real? Like she's can't say it because she's an extension of the pain I feel, that if she were I would have forgiven myself."

And there is was, Patrick shifting back and forth between wondering if they were real or not. But as far as he was concerned, he was making progress. When knowing she wasn't real, realizing that she never forgave him because it wasn't actually her, it was him who felt guilty about it. Too bad forgiveness was easy said then done. He didn't know why he couldn't, he wanted to, but he couldn't.

Mistakes don't define you? Patrick knew that his sure as hell did. Once he had made that mistake, he made others. And others. And others, until he was that monster. The one he tried to change, but never could, always seemed to get dragged back into. He couldn't tell why, maybe it was because he kept living in that day. But what she said about what they did with life they were given, in the present, that was what made them who they were. And all that jazz about him being a good man? He didn't know about that. But he let that stew for a second. And then it hit him. Eyes widening in realization.

His mistakes defined him, only because he let them. It seemed simply really. But then how did he change that? The answer seemed to be to forgive himself, to move on and not let them define him. But that was the problem. He wasn't sure how to forgive himself but he wanted to. For her. He wanted to be there for her. To have those great nights that she promised.

"My mistakes define me, because I let them," Patrick concluded to her, "But they don't have to right? I want to be here with ye. I want to make ye happy. I love ye Kazumi. And I want those incredible nights ye promised. But I have to forgive myself for those mistakes to no longer define me right?"

"How?" Patrick asked earnestly, knowing that he had asked the question earlier in the night but the answer still wasn't clicking with him, "How do I face that night and forgive myself? By remembering ye? Remembering I have ye and ye love me?"

Patrick was really trying, but he couldn't seem to get the answer. It was pretty clear he expected it to be a quick fix. Now that he realized all these things, made strides in what he hoped was the right direction. He kind of hoped that that was enough. Because he was caught on the next part. Like a math problem he couldn't seem to figure out the next part. He figured he could do it, if he could just find the next step.

He looked at Kazumi, his eyes softening a bit. Noting that her eyes were completely amethyst as tears steamed down from them. He frowned slightly, "I'm sorry for makin ye feel like this. Sorry for rambling. But I'm trying. Really, I am. And I'm going to figure this out. I love ye and promise that I'm going to be here for ye, in the present."

Patrick raised a hand to wipe her tears away, a soft smile given, grateful that she was trying to help him...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She didn't really have much to say. She was trying to let him talk it out, knowing that sometimes it was way easier to sit there and hear yourself talk about something in order for it to make sense. Yet she kept up her soft and gentle forms of affection and reassurance, allowing him to know, the entire time, that she was there for him.

"When Feht...was Phee...She would do that for me. She would give me advice...Some of it I would listen to, some of it I wouldn't. Some good, some bad. Yet I could always reason out pretty much any situation with her....just talk it out in my head with her and somehow I figured out what was going on or what to do." She gave a slight shrug, shifting to lay her head against his chest yet continuing to look up at him. A slow brush
of her tongue across her lips.

Again she stayed silent as he began to speak and talk things out. The questions she did not have answers to, yet the ones that she wished she did. A little sigh passing her lips as she traced small, idle circles over his chest, listening intently to every single word that he spoke and trying to do her best to think of what to say.

Then, it seemed to hit him. Like he suddenly understood something and she would lift her head and meet his gaze as he spoke about forgiving himself, about his past deeds defining him, all of it. She listened and she tilted her head slightly. "No, they don't have to define you....You just have to be the one to not let them." Her tone soft and soothing despite the tears on her face.

Then he asked how and she thought long and hard on that question and all the ones that followed. She didn't know how to give him a specific thing that would help, because she didn't think there was any one thing that could help him forgive himself, help him move past it all. So, she said the only thing she could think of. "Yes. Remembering that you have me. That you have a home with me. That I love you more than anything in this world." She would pause and then let out a little sigh once more. "But that isn't all it it will take. You are going to have to reach that point, in here...." Her fingers lightly brushing over the spot where his heart beat beneath her touch..."....when you realize that its okay to let go. You are going to have to find that moment, when you can say to yourself, that it is okay, because your life means something."

She nodded and would then shake her head as he began to apologize, cutting off his words as her lips pressed against his own, pulling back just slightly. "Shhh...." Another soft kiss given, even as he wiped away the tears that streaked down her cheeks. "I love you, and no matter what, I am not going to give up on you. I am not going to turn my back on you and I am not going to walk away. I am here with you....for just as long as you will have me." Nose softly brushing against his as she smiled softly.

[Legion]

Patrick would listen to her story about Phee intently, though unsure of what to make of it. Did that mean that was what she wanted him to do? Talk to his ghosts? Reason things out with them? Listen to them occasionally? It seemed different to him. Solely because Phee was her own entity, or at least, Phee never existed outside of Kazumi. Everyone of the ghosts Patrick talked had been alive and been real people at one point. They were baggage that Patrick carried around of his past in some way. So he didn't think she wanted that.

Having her head lay against his chest was comforting to say the least. It made him feel wanted, something that was particularly needed for him at this moment. He wasn't used to sharing this much about himself. And although he knew she wasn't going to walk away it was something that he needed at this point. Feeling her against him.

When she lifted her head off him to start speaking again Patrick listened intently. Even though she said she didn't have all the answers Patrick saw her as more of the authority on this then him to be perfectly honest. She was the one that was more in touch with her emotions, and so when it came to matters like these Patrick wanted to defer to her judgement. When she said the word home, Patrick could help but smile warmly at the thought of having a home with her, repeating the word aloud, "Home."

What he wasn't so thrilled about was what she said next. Telling him that he'd have to come to a moment where he decided that it was okay to just let go. Feeling her hand trace over where his heart was he'd give a little nod. He wanted to let go now, but he couldn't. It was frustrating but it wasn't his time to be able to. His life meant something to him now, he had her. He had her to care about, to love, why wasn't that enough? Patrick gave an annoyed little sigh, resigning himself to being patient.

When she would eventually cut him of mid apology surprise would register across his face as she kissed him, a little too surprised to return the favor before she pulled back, shushing him softly. Her second kiss he was able to return, even though it was quick, smiling warmly as she spoke. He couldn't help but feel incredibly grateful as she told him that. As she told him as long as she'd have him she'd never walk away. As her nose brushed softly against his, his arms would wrap around her as he smiled, "I don't ever want to let ye go Kazumi. I love ye."

It wasn't just lip service, something to say in the moment, he really meant it, no matter what. After a short pause he'd ask, "How did I guy like me get a girl like ye? I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have a woman so beautiful and caring love me."

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She couldn't help but smile when he said the word home to her in response to her having said it. She knew that it was a fairly new concept for him, at least in the way that she meant it, and so it was nice to know that he enjoyed the thought of it so much. Nodding slightly she would remain silent, her smile only growing as he spoke of how much he loved her.

It did her good to hear those sort of things. To know that he loved her that much, that he didn't ever want to let her go, because constantly in the back of her mind she was worried that he would change his mind some day, that he would walk away. "And I never want to let you go either....ever." It was the truth, and she would do whatever she could to stand by her word of being there for him no matter what it took.

Feeling his arms wrap around her, she would snuggle into his side, curling up against him and trailing little kisses slowly along his chest as her fingers lightly traced over the scars that rested there, one by one. When he asked his question she would grin just slightly, her head lifting up as she reached up and traced the one that ran across his eyes before tapping him on the end of those nose playfully. "Didn't you know? Its all the scars....I just couldn't help myself..." A small giggle as she leaned in and quickly planted a kiss upon his cheek. She joked, but honestly, she did love ever single scar he had...hated how he got them....but loved them just the same, because it made him.....well....him. "But really, its just because from the moment I met you, I think a part of me instantly belonged to you...." Nodding as she would shift to lay her head against his chest once more, eyes closing as she simply rested against him and breathed in his scent. Knowing she could never get tired of doing that.

[Legion]

Patrick let out a content sigh when she finished telling him that she never wanted to let him go. While Patrick knew the truth, all to well, that there were forces that could rip them apart at any moment, he couldn't help but feel something he hadn't felt in a long time, something that he never though he'd feel again. Stability. Yeah, he knew the circumstances of his life weren't what a normal person would call stable, but Patrick hand always life a fast life. Not that he was going crazy with pleasurably experiences, but he knew that he had to live fast because unlike everyone else, there was a very real chance that he wouldn't be there in the morning.

As she curled up into him Patrick gave another smile and a sigh. Her warm body curling against him was something that could never get old. He couldn't help but run a hand through her hair as she kissed her way up his chest, feeling her fingers trace his scars on the way up as well. As she picked her head up, a grin spread across his face as it did with hers. Closing his right eye his grin would turn into a smile as her finger ran down his facial scar, in that oh so familiar manner. She joked and Patrick chuckled as she tapped him on the nose.

"Then every scar was worth it," Patrick said in a playful tone smiling. Even through his tone though, Patrick wasn't lying. He meant it. She was the best thing to happen to him. While he wish that he hadn't gotten every scar in the manner that he did, he didn't regret them. Not if every one had brought him a little closer to meeting Kazumi, and even to the point they were now.

He smiled as she kissed him on the cheek, feeling the affection in it. He stopped to thing as he felt her resting her head on his chest, stopping to think about what he wanted to say next. While he didn't actually like a part of him belonged to her the second he met her there had been that connection. Smiling as her head rested on his chest he'd say, "Ye made me see that life was still worth living."

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She would continue to lay there, her eyes closed as he drew in a soft breath and would nuzzle into him a bit more. She couldn't help but love the way that his body felt against her own, enjoying these moments far more than the sex, though that was pretty amazing as well. No, she just liked being close to him, feeling him against her and knowing that she was lucky enough to have him for one more night. She was not clueless and she knew very well that things could happen, bad things that would tear them apart. Hell, the Earth thing had been proof enough of that and they had not even been together then.

No, she knew it was the truth and she knew very well that it meant that they had to make each moment count while they were together. Which is exactly what she tried to do. Letting out a soft little sigh of contentment, she would idly draw small circles over his chest, letting her mind wander and simply enjoying the moment for what it was.

Yet when he spoke she would open her eyes to look up at him, shivering as his fingers ran through her hair, yet not lifting her head. No, she was far too content for that right now. His words though, they did bring a smile to her face and she would turn her head just a bit to plan another light kiss against his chest. "Well, I am glad that I could give that to you.....If it wasn't for you, I don't know where I would be right now, but I don't think it would be anywhere good...That's for sure....You saved me baby...plain and simple."

A little nod before she would finally shift about so that her lips could press against his own, allowing the kiss to linger as she traced her fingers along his cheek.

[Legion]

Patrick loved the feeling of her laying on top of him. It just felt right you know? Felt comfortable, comforting, allowing all his fears and worries about his past, and future, just slip away. All he could thing about with her here, now, against him was how lucky he was, and how much he loved her. He wouldn't trade this for anything. He wanted to break free from his chains with the that faceless corporation, not for himself anymore. Not because of that feral combatitive natural that couldn't stand being someone else's, but so that he could be hers and hers alone. She made him want more in life then to simply draw breath, and the more was simply her.

Patrick smiled as she shivered at his touch, and then kissed his chest, feeling her soft lips on his flesh. As she spoke Patrick listened carefully, warmness in his smile as she did. When she was done Patrick would quietly admit, "Well I'm glad I could save someone, and I'm glad it was ye."

He wasn't sure if she'd understand just what her words meant to him, solely because he didn't often discuss his past, especially not as a killer. But he did appreciate that. He had killed so many people, and neglected people he ought not to have. People he could have saved. Patrick was glad that he had been able to save her, in her eyes, even if it seemed more ambiguous to him.

Patrick leaned his lips forward into hers, kissing her back, lingering with his kiss affectionately as his hand still ran through her hair...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She just smiled at his words, a little nuzzle given into him before she would close her eyes and give a soft little yawn. "I love you Patrick..." Her head falling to rest upon his shoulder, her arm draped across his stomach now, and her body curled into his. She was actually relaxed enough at this point that she was more than certain she could sleep...at least for a little while longer.

"I am going to go to sleep babe.....Feeling really tired." Shifting just enough to press her lips against the side of his neck and then nuzzling her nose against him before she would settle in with a little yawn and slowly start to drift off. It didn't take her long for her breathing to slow and for her body to relax there against him completely.

This time, the nightmares would come, but not until much later. No, this time she slept for a good two hours rather peacefully. Perhaps it was just the contentment that she felt in being with him and being in his arms. Perhaps it was just from the fact that everything in her life was starting to settle down. There was honestly no telling, but at least she was able to get in some solid sleep before the darkness and the terror started to settle in. Every little bit counted right?