Unearthing The Past (Patrick)

[Legion]

Patrick's brow furrowed as she spoke of her father. She had never done that before. While he knew that technically she had to have one, she had never told him anything about that. He hadn't known how that worked. He knew that Kevala was her biological mother, but before now he hadn't found out exactly how Kevala had gotten pregnant. Sex, dur, but artificial or with someone? Well now he knew. But his brow furrowed because yeah, that was odd. That Kevala would have pictures of everyone in her past, just not him. It seemed like a detail that she wouldn't just "leave" out.

"I can understand that," Patrick said as she told why her missing relationship with her father hurt. He had never considered it that way. He had only just looked as it that he never knew them, never would so it was just one extra bit of pain to worry about it and wonder. Not that he was judging her, he just hadn't wanted to dwell. Funny, considering he dwellt for so long about Zea. Still not noticing that inner thought pattern.

After they finished reading the file concerning Zea Patrick would unexpectedly feel Kazumi's lips on his. He'd return the kiss with a smile, happy that the file or his reaction to reading the file didn't make her so repulsed that she was done. As she told him that she loved him Patrick could only let out a grateful little smile and reply , "I love ye Kazumi, more then anything."

He felt her nose brush against his before she once again rested to move back into his lap, nestled against him, reaching for another file. As she opened it up Patrick looked it over, knowing that it was the one that he felt most hesitant about. Especially with the idea of a kid on the way:

"Date May 28 20XX
Location: Long Beach

The boy had progressed quite well. All of his previous experiences have culminated quite well. We had to kind of press him into this job though, but it will be nice to have a more hands on grasp of him at this point. He has infiltrated the organization quite well. Making himself seem trustable by ruthlessly eliminating that one bystander in front of the others. But interesting to note, he did start smoking the kid's cigarettes. As far as other affairs go he his picking up both languages surprisingly well. Who would have known that this kid had a knack for languages too?

While he seems to have taken this job for moral reasons, he seems to be able to watch and even participate in the organ harvesting of the young children without flinching. Although we haven't seen him in the act, we know he has been, he wouldn't have rose so high otherwise, and if he couldn't control himself he'd be dead. Right now he thinks he's supposed to be waiting and collecting evidence for us. But I know that if we press this on a little longer he won't listen. And that's exactly what I want. An unhesitating killer. Not a remorseful prick who doesn't want to kill anyway. No if i hold this a little longer he'll kill them all. And then we'll have him and be able to use him for our own purposes without him ever knowing we've been involved the whole time. The trick will be getting him to want to live again. Enough so that he takes the leader's liver, which of course was the plan from the beginning. The poetic justice route would probably be the best route to go on that."

As Patrick read the file he looked to Kazumi hesitantly. It didn't describe everything that was going on, but it described enough. That wasn't that long ago either. It was the job Patrick had completed just before he left Long Beach and came back to New York. Meeting Kazumi not long afterwards. But he didn't know how she take what he'd done to kids, watched done, especially with their own on the way.

Needless to say this was what Patrick was the probably the file that he was the most hesitant about...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She smiled as he told her he loved her, nestling into him and nuzzling against his chest as she opened the file and began to read what was in it. Yet, to be honest, even though she had told herself to expect just about anything from within these files, what she read was so far beyond the grasp of her imagination that it caused her to gasp lightly as she seemed to tense up in his lap.

She didn't jerk away, nor did she stop reading to say anything...but the tension in her muscles was there as she leaned forward just a bit, moving the file so that she could get a better look at it, wanting to make sure that she was reading everything right. Once again, it was devoid of a lot of details, but enough was implied that she caught onto what he had done....Or presumably done....

When she was done, she would close the file and just sit there. She didn't know what to say, she honestly didn't even know what to think. She wanted to think that it wasn't him, at least not the him that she currently sat with, the one that she made love to every night, the one who she loved with so completely...But the date, well....she wasn't completely stupid. That date had not been long before he had shown up at 1033, which was when she had met him. So, truthfully, it had not been that long ago.....Sure, over a year, but that was still fairly close to now when you thought about it.

Feeling her eyes burning with tears that had built up within them, she kept her head down, biting her lower lip as she pushed the files from her lap and onto the couch beside them. Trying desperately to think of something, anything to say. Yet nothing wanted to come to her mind, let alone past her lips. Though, eventually, after a long moment of silence had been drawn out between them, she would slip from his lap, moving to stand in front of where he now sat....her head down at first as she struggled to compose herself.

Finally though, her eyes would lift to meet his own, tears streaking down her cheeks as she shook her head....amethyst gaze locking on his as she drew in a rather shaky breath. "I..I have never asked about your past. Never demanded to know anything...I have never once pushed you to discuss any of the bad, horrible things you said you had done." Her tone was shaky and at the same time rather firm....Not a very common tone heard from her when addressing him...

"I keep trying to tell myself, that if my Mother had never found those files, that you would have told me on your own...But honestly...I don't know if that is true. I mean, I can understand not telling me about that, at least when we met, or when we started dating....even if it was something you did right before we met....I really do understand....But when you found out I was pregnant?" She whimpered and would feel her chest growing tighter, feel her hands starting to shake as her legs wanted so badly to give out from the sheer weight of her emotions. Gods how she hated feeling so intensely sometimes.

"I am trying so hard....I am trying to show you I love you, that I don't care about your past, about any of it...I just want you to be okay, I just want you to be happy....But...I need to know if...if I am ever going to be enough to do that....If...If we are ever going to be enough to do that...." Her hand resting on her stomach over where their baby grew inside her....as if to emphasize the "we" in her statement....

Yet even as she did that, she finally found that she was unable to remain upright, her emotions wreaking havoc on her and causing her to collapse backward, her ass coming into contact with the coffee table as her free hand gripped the edge to hold her in place. "Please....tell me what is so important about all of....all of this..." Her hand moving from her stomach to motion to all the files..."....that you are willing to push me, and now your child, onto the back burner....Tell me why it is that you would rather stay hurting in the past than being happy with me and our family in the present...Because I really want to understand....Cause if you want me to back off, if you want to keep living this way, I will.....we can...I will do anything for you...But I need to understand it..Please." Begging him at this point...pleading with words that were edged with soft whimpers and met with more tears spilling down her cheeks. To other people, it might seem like she was being unreasonable, or irrational, or whatever....perhaps just overly dramatic...But he knew her well enough, or should have at least, to know that for her to say something....for her to get this emotional, meant that what she felt inside was more than she could bare and therefore she had to get it out.....

All this hurt and pain over this topic, something she had been harboring and pushing aside for his sake, but with this it just sort of broke her down.....It might not have made sense to him or anyone else, but it did to her and that was what mattered....or so she hoped...because she really didn't know....But one thing was blatantly clear from what she had said and how she had acted....Kevala's words about Kazumi always having taken a backseat to the past were painfully obvious....She had done so for so, so long....that at this point she was willing to do so for him, without a second thought.....to suffer that pain of knowing she wasn't good enough to match his past....to help him overcome it....If for no other reason than to make sure he had what he thought he needed to make himself happy....

[Legion]

Patrick felt the tension in Kazumi as she read the file. He heard her gasp when she read it over, presumably his part in butchering those kids. In harvesting their organs, for money. It didn't say that they had used the kids as ants to mule drugs, but that was somewhat of a relief. It probably would have made her revulsion of the matter worse. When she closed the file and just sat there Patrick felt nothing but fear. That she was going to decide to just get up and walk out. To leave him there and not look back. Patrick knew it was what he deserved. But all the same he was so afraid of it at the same time. Having known her for long enough, there was no doubt in his mind that tears were in her eyes.

When she stood up a terror struck Patrick as he looked on, one that wasn't relieved when she turned around. Showing him those amethyst eyes filled with tears. While he didn't know what she was going to tell him, his guess was something along the line of him being a monster and wanting nothing to do with him. Oh, how wrong he was, if anything though, this was probably worse.

When she finally spoke all he could do was look on and listen, fear visible on his face as he strove to listen and understand. He knew that her opening words were only a precursor to what she was trying to say, but it seemed like it was going to take a bit of a different direction then what he expected. He figured the opening would be a little different if she was going to call him a monster. But when she told him that she didn't know if he would have told her had he never been given the files, he knew without a doubt that this was taking a different turn.

The answer to her inner question? Honestly, Patrick didn't know. He was sure that bits and pieces he would have revealed over time. Telling her eventually. Especially over the incident with the children. Hell, the only reason he hadn't told her yet was that she was still recovering from the doctor. Though he had to admit with the revelation of having a child he was scared. Scared that she wouldn't want him near the child after what he had done. Scared that he couldn't be a good father after what he had done to children. That in a nutshell was why he hadn't been too forthcoming until now. But he at least liked to believe that he would have told her soon, he just didn't know.

Patrick couldn't help but frown when she said she needed to know if she, if they would ever be enough for him. Enough to make him happy, to show him that she, they didn't care about his past, and only wanted him to be happy. But it stung. It stung when she accused him of being willing to push her and the child on the back burner for living in the past. Because he was desperately trying to change. To make them his present, not the past. To make them his future. But in no way was he mad at her. He just couldn't bring himself to be, he was just hurt. And though he knew she didn't know the full scope of it yet, he would have to explain. He wanted to explain, that now, now it was clear.

After a moment to gather his thoughts he would speak, "When yer mother gave me these files she offered me a choice. There were other people involved into making my life what it was. I could have the addresses of those people and I could do with them what I pleased for thinking they could run my life. Or I could be with ye and the child. I contemplated burning the files right there. But she told me I had to read the files first, or I would forever wonder just how much control they had over my life."

Patrick paused for a long moment, "I don't have the names and addresses of the others Kazumi. I was told if I went down that path I'd put myself back on the radar, their radar. I don't know who they are. Just that the doctor was the one who personally oversaw this. These are the only files. The ones that incriminate me. The ones used to keep me in line."

"I need to read these files Kazumi. And I'd like ye to read them with me. So ye can understand who I have been, to help ye know who I am now. Because ye know as well as I do I'm not good at talking about myself. But I do want ye more then anything. I want this child. I was just scared that especially after what I did to those children. I was scared that ye wouldn't want to have our child anywhere near me. I'm scared, I wonder if I can be a good father after that. But I want to try. I love ye both. I want to try if ye'd let me. I was just so scared, that's why I didn't tell ye," Patrick paused once again, "I need to read these files so I know who I have been, and who I want to be, what I want."

"And what I want is what I think my parents wanted, to live normal lives. A life that isn't filled with death and misery," Patrick said, guessing, though figuring that's what his parents had wanted, "I'm going to read these files and then I'm going to burn them. And when I do, I'm finally free. And yer the person I want to experience that freedom with in a new world for me. One where I'm not controlled by my bloody past or anyone. Just my desires and my love for ye, and our family."

That was what Patrick had to say. He hoped it made sense to her. He hoped she wouldn't walk away. That she understood, he would explain anything that needed clarification but that was what he thought. He hoped it was enough...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She saw the fear in his face, in his eyes and if he thought that it didn't kill her to see that and not to comfort him and tell him that everything would be alright, then he was dead wrong. She did want to, but at the same time she needed to understand everything that was going on and everything that she felt inside. It might not have made a lot of sense, and it might have hurt him, but she didn't see any other way around it. It destroyed a part of her to know that she was causing him pain with how she felt and with the words she chose to use, but if anything, that was the point she was trying to get across to him...that no matter how much she thought it might hurt him, he still deserved to know when she was feeling something this strongly about their relationship, just like she felt that she deserved the same thing.

Keeping her eyes upon him, she would continue to sit in silence, her hand gripping the edge of the coffee table as though she feared what letting go would do to her. It was what was keeping her centered, keeping her grounded and if she let go she might lose herself to her emotions completely. Then he began to explain and she listened as if her very life depended on it, because in so many ways it did.

He was her entire world, in case he had failed to notice that. Him and this house, and the baby that she now carried, they meant absolutely everything to her and she would die if she ever lost any of it. She wanted to make this work, she needed to make this work, but she could not do any of this without him...she knew that from the moment she had found out she was pregnant. So yes, as he explained she hung on ever word that he said, her heart seizing within her chest as though it was afraid to beat for fear of breaking.

At some point, her breath had caught in her throat, now held in as she waited for him to tell her what she needed so desperately to hear. He spoke about her Mother, about her giving him the files and the choice that he was asked to make....and at first there had been that fear that welled up inside her that he had chosen to go for the names, that this was all about telling her, ultimately, that he had to do that, he had to take care of those people for one reason or another.

But then, out of nowhere he told her that he had basically walked away with only the files and none of the addresses or the names. He had passed on the chance to prove that those people could not run his life in order to ....to be with her? A shuddering breath released as a feeling of complete and utter relief seemed to wash over her, though it did nothing to stop the tears that continued to spill down her olive complected cheeks. Though now, they were tears of a different nature, though still housed in fear, there was a bit of happiness and relief mixed in as well....Yet she did not speak up, choosing to let him say whatever it was he wanted, or needed to get out....Just listening, still scared of where this might lead.

But then he spoke of his fears, of his fear of telling her, his fear of losing her and the baby....It hurt, to think that he would worry about such a thing when she had told him time and time again that his past did not matter to her, that she loved him for who he was now....But at the same time, she supposed that she could understand it. She understood his concerns about being able to be a good Father....Over and over again he repeated those words "I'm scared" and every time it broke her down just a little more.

She wanted so badly to take that away from him, so that he didn't have to feel that way anymore...But she wasn't sure if she could. None the less, she continued to listen. She knew exactly why he had to read these files, she could only imagine what it would have done to him to never know what part they played in which areas of his life....She would never have wanted that for him, and she understood too that this was a big deal for him, sharing with her...telling her and letting her read first hand what he had done and who he had been. She just couldn't keep pretending that it didn't bother her that he hid so many things, so many important things from her.

When he finally finished, after explaining to her that he wanted the life that he thought his parents had wanted, she would sit there for a few moments, letting everything work itself over in her mind, drawing in a few shaky and deep breaths to try and calm her already tattered and frayed nerves. Then, with what strength she could manage to force back into her legs she would push herself to stand once more and close the distance between them...crawling onto the couch so that she straddled his lap, her hands coming to rest gently upon either side of his face, as her eyes locked upon his own once more. Softly, she would shake her head, her lower lip trembling as she opened her mouth to speak finally. "I meant it, when I told you that your past does not define who you are...It was then and this is now...Do I think that what you did was bad? Yes. Horrible for that matter. But it was done in the past and nothing will change that. It is just something that you have to live with, and I can't imagine that it is ever going to be an easy thing to do....But it does not make me love you one bit less, nor does it make me want to walk away or keep this child from you...I love you Patrick, and I am not going to give up on you as easily as you fear that I am. You mean everything to me, you and this baby are my entire world and I don't ever, ever want to lose that over something in your past that cannot be changed."

She would lean forward, her forehead resting against his as she closed her eyes and released a shaky breath against his lips..."Never once, not even after reading that, did I think you would not make an amazing Father....I have known all along that you would, because I believe in you, so, so much. I believe you would go to hell and back to find me and I believe that you would do the same to make sure this baby does not grow up the way you had to....I know, that no matter what, we can do this so long as we do it together, because I cannot do this without you baby.....But I just needed to know...To understand...I hope that you see that..." A little whimper as her lips would briefly brush against his own before she would pull back, once again opening her yes to look upon him, the tears still brimming within them, though for now none escaped to roll down her face. "I just want you, to be able to see in yourself, the man that I have seen since the day we met." Her small hand reaching to take his and pulling it to rest atop her stomach..."Because that is the man that I am in love with, and that is the man who is going to make an amazing Father.....We just can't be a family without you baby...." Biting her lower lip softly as she stayed there upon his lap, keeping her eyes upon him as her hand rested atop his own....Hoping that what she had said made sense.

[Legion]

When Patrick started speaking he wouldn't stop. Not until he was done speaking. He noted her emotions, that she was feeling the same fear that he was, that was particularly evident when he was talking about the choice her mother had given him. That struck him a little causing him a little pain. Not at the fact that she thought he would go for him, no he understood that he had run before. It wasn't completely unreasonable that she'd think that of him. What pained him was the fact that he had made it that way for her. That she would feel that pain. He was sorry that she had to feel that. But he couldn't help but feel a bit of relief as it washed over her as he said he had ultimately not gone after any of the names on the list. He could still tell that there was fear there, but there was happiness and relief as well.

Patrick felt bad at the pain visible in his eyes when he spoke of his fears. He knew it was wrong to have them. She had made it clear to him that she didn't care about what he had done in his past. But he couldn't stop from feeling that way. At least not until he had gotten it off his chest. All the same it hurt him to hurt her.

When all was said and done he simply watched her, waited for her response, anxiously. He knew what she had said, he just couldn't help but be nervous though. But he figured the fact that she hadn't gotten up and walked out was a good sign. What would further prove to be a good sign was her standing up and straddling his lap, both hands coming up to rest on his cheeks. When she would speak, Patrick would listen, as if his life depended on it. Because believe or not, he needed her at this point just as much as she did him. He was just far less emotionally and relationally capable then her.

As Patrick listened she reminded him that his past didn't define who he was. Even though she said that he couldn't help but wince when she said what he did was horrible. He knew it. He winced not because she was condemning him but he knew what he had done was monstrous. But that wince would turn into a weak smile when she said that she didn't love him any less. The smile would strengthen as she continually confirmed that she loved him and didn't want to lose him over something that couldn't be changed.

Patrick couldn't help but let a tear or two roll down from his eyes as she told him again that she believed in him that she thought that he could be a good father. Feeling her forehead resting against his he could help but smile softly at her, thinking how good she was at this. Her brush of her lips against his, how she put his hand on her stomach as she talked about how they needed him and how he was going to be a great father. When she was done speaking Patrick couldn't help but smile, his hand still resting on her stomach.

"Thank ye Kazumi for believing in me. Thank ye for never leaving me even when I've deserved it. Thank ye for loving me when maybe ye shouldn't. I think that because of those attributes yer going to be a fantastic mother, and I want to be there beside ye for that," Patrick said with a smile, "I'm sorry for hurting ye Kazumi, for making ye worry and fear. I'm sorry because I love ye baby and I don't want to hurt ye like that."

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She knew that he didn't like to hurt her, it was part of the reason that she didn't say anything about how she felt sometimes. A) Because she knew that she sometimes overreacted and B) because she didn't want to upset him over something that she would undoubtedly get over in a couple days. But she also knew that sometimes they just were not going to be able to avoid hurting each other.

She saw that smile grow just a little bit as she continued to reassure him, continued to affirm her love for him and her belief in him and his ability to be a good Father. She was glad that she could give him that, could help him to see, if only through her eyes, that he was a better person than he gave himself credit for. Maybe one day he would be able to see that in himself as well.

Noting those tears that escaped his eyes, her thumbs would lightly brush them away, a weak little smile given to reassure him as she shifted her hands to lightly brush her fingers through his hair, those eyes once more focused upon his as he began to speak. Her smile only growing once he mentioned that he thought she would make a good Mother. She worried so much about that, almost constantly for that matter, so it was nice to hear that he thought she would be good at it....cause honestly there was nothing more she wanted than to be a good Mother to their child. "Its alright baby....We are going to hurt each other from time to time.....I think that is just a part of loving each other so much...What matters is that when that does happen, we don't just give up and walk away...we talk about it...." She nodded, her hands moving to rest softly against his chest. "I told you before though, you don't have to thank me...If it wasn't for you I don't know where I would be right now...You not only saved me from that doctor guy...but you saved me from myself...and I love you all the more for that. I just hope that I can do the same for you because I don't know what I would do if I lost you...I need you in my life far too badly..." A slight nod before she would lean in and press her lips against his own, one hand sliding against the side of his neck, fingers tracing along that mark on his neck....her mark...Deepening the kiss just a bit more as she did so.

[Legion]

Patrick gave her a soft smile as her hands brushed his tears away before he felt her fingers began to lightly brush through his hair. He was glad when her smiled widened as he mentioned he thought she'd be a good mother. While he had wanted to reassure her he had meant it. She had all the attributes that Patrick figured belonged to a good mother. While he had never had a mother in the sense that he was raised by one he could imagine what a good one was, and she should be able to figure it out. She had two mothers, so it shouldn't be too hard. Now how to be a good father? Well they were a little lacking on examples there.

Patrick would nod when she said that they were going to hurt each other from time to time. That it was something that was just naturally going to happen, as a by product of loving each other so much. Seemed logical to Patrick. He would nod as she told him that he didn't have to thank her. That he had saved her, that maybe she owed him more. Patrick smiled and shook his head first and foremost addressing her hoping she could do the same, "I hope ye never have to do the same for me. And I don't think ye give yerself enough credit. Ye gave me a reason to live again. If it weren't for ye, I'd be dead or worse. Might of gave in and just worked for that doctor for the rest of forever. Ye did just as much for me, if not more, then I did for ye. Maybe we can call it even."

As her lips came forward to meet his, he'd raise up to meet hers just as eagerly. As he kissed her his hands would come up, back behind her head, fingers running through her hair. As she deepened the kiss Patrick would follow suit, tongue brushing past her lips to lightly trace circles around hers. He would give a slight shiver as her fingers traced her mark on his neck, one of his hands following suit so his fingers could do the same on his mark. After a few long moments of this Patrick would pull back, breaking the kiss and smiling, "I love this Kazumi, and I love ye but let's finish reading and finally take care of my past once and for all."

A mischievous grin was given, "Then I'm sure we can figure out where we were."

It wasn't that he didn't want her, it was just that he was so close to the end of this road. He just felt it. He wanted to taste her a free man. By his figuring she'd taste all the sweeter...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She would give a little nod to his words, that smile remaining upon her lips.."Okay, even it is..." Speaking the words softly before her lips met his, a little shiver given as she felt his fingers running through her hair, pulling her deeper into that kiss. To say that she didn't enjoy this would have been the understatement of the century. She loved it, loved being close to him, kissing him, just feeling him against her.

Then as he deepened the kiss and she felt his tongue circling her own she would give a soft little moan against his lips, her body pressing into his own that much more firmly and her hand moving to run her fingers through his hair slowly and affectionately. Though, after a long moment, he would break the kiss, leaving her to pant softly in an attempt to catch her breath...A little nod given as she grazed her lower lip with her teeth. "Alright...."

Pulling back she would grin just slightly at his final words, a small chuckle given as she shook her head. "Oh I don't know...You sure you want to tempt a predator like me with such implications?" Her brow raising slightly as she gave him that devilish little look she was so good at holding. Oh no, she was not going to let it go that easily, even when he thought she had believed she won. She knew when he was just caving to save himself trouble later on....But she wasn't giving up that easily on this matter.

Still, she would just shift herself about so that she could settle into his lap like she had been before, curling her small form up so that she could lay her head against his chest, reaching out first to pull another file into her lap and flipping it open for them to read over. Wanting to be done with this and for him to be free of his past almost as much as he did.

[Legion]

Damn she was making this hard, pressing her body into his like that. But Patrick had to secure his past he figured, inward sigh given. As he broke the kiss and she agreed he found himself somewhat surprised at how easily she agreed. He almost felt like she would protest saying that he was giving his past more attention then her, who was obviously ready to go right now. Not that he didn't want to but, yeah, this right? Sigh. Although her question would draw a grin from him, perhaps all because of the look. Although they had to get back to reading he wouldn't be able to resist the snipe, poking her on the nose, "For this predator, I think the reward is worth the risk."

Tempting fate? Most likely, Probably, Absolutely, but he didn't care. If anything it would make her more aggressive later. That would be a hell of a time now huh? But unfortunately there was still work to be done so thoughts on that would have to wait.

As she nestled into him, reaching for another file opening it Patrick would scan over it along with her:

"Date: February 9 !9XX
Location: Boston

We let them have their fun for a few years now. Two to be exact, and as suspected Seamus and Marybeth have had a child. They did seem to be getting softer and softer. We let them run on the off chance something like this might happen. That and it's damn hard to chase someone who knows your on their tail when you can't as easily commandeer the police. But unfortunately for our two irish assassins, everyone gets found. In the last year since we've found them we've been carefully observing them. Their pattern's their habits. Their child, Patrick, I believe. They've been careful to teach him good morals. Likely to keep him from their career track. Sadly enough, we have plans to ensure that he does follow down their path. While we've planned out most of the traumatic events a vast degree of flexibility will be needed as always.

It will be interesting to see how young O'Connor's psyche holds up. If well, he may be of great use to us."

Patrick read the file with a shrug. He had already kind of figured it out that they wanted him for a long time. While it was unsettling that they were able to watch his parents for such a long time without them seemingly to expect anything, it wasn't too unexpected. Then again, they probably knew more about the organization then he ever did, at least before they ran. At this point the conspiracy wasn't really phasing him as much...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

It wasn't that easily for her to just turn off her own desires, but she knew that they had to get through this. On top of that, she knew that it would be well worth it when they finally did get around to that, because he was playing with fire at this point. That tap to the end of her nose making her growl rather playfully, those eyes once more cut toward him and a grin curling upon her lips. "You say that now, but we will see how you feel later..."

Then, as she settled in and began to read over the file, she would feel a stab of pain in her chest. She just didn't like this, not one bit. To know that people had done this kind of thing to him, to know that they had planned this for so long and to such great lengths. Yet she said nothing, just nuzzled into him. She knew that he didn't really seem bothered by it, and though she herself was, that was not really what mattered.

No, she would just close the file, grab up another one and set it in her lap so that they could go over it. They had a lot to get through, so the more on track they stayed, the better.

Time Skip

It had been hours, she was sure....But, every file had been gone over and there was nothing left that they did not know about his past or what they had done to him, what part they had played in his life.

Letting out a little sigh, she would pull away from him so that she could stretch. She had not really moved much since they started reading again, and to be honest it felt pretty damn good to do so. A little yawn escaping her as she would turn to look at him and smile once more. "Well, that's it..." Not entirely sure he wanted to do now, though she would slip her arms about his neck and plant a little kiss to his lips. "So now what?" Curious as to how he wanted to proceed from here.

[Legion]

TIME SKIP

Hours later they finally finished reading all the files. And now she knew every bit of his past. Having taken the privilege himself of filling in the wholes that had occurred. Pointing out that he had found it funny that at the time he wasn't so comfortable with the idea of being a thief, but now, well it seemed like the lesser of the two evils. But now she knew his past, and he knew his a little better. How the doctor had influenced his life. He had to admit that in the rest of the files the only thing that had really made him annoyed was to find out that killing that Fake Earth had been an impromptu plan. A revision of plan to tidy up loose ends. Only having been angry about it because it involved her, and took three months of his life to plan and carry out. Angered that they knew she was still alive and they played on his emotions to hide him from what had really been going on.

But now they were done, and well Patrick couldn't help but feel relief. Not because it had been a horrible and drawn out process, but because he was free, it was just starting to hit him too. If he didn't want to, he didn't have to live in the past. And he didn't want to. He was ready to start this new chapter of his life. Patrick just had to let go of the past. And it was weird. He was finally ready. Not really sure why it was this moment but it was.

As she curled her arms around his neck planting a kiss on his lips Patrick would reciprocate. Though when she asked that question he would stop and think. Not because he didn't know what he wanted, no, needed to do. He was just trying to figure out why he needed to do it. So after a moment's pause he's say, "I need to go to the dock with the files. Come with me?"

It should be evidently clear what dock he was talking about. The dock where he had failed to save Zea all those years ago. But when he spoke of the dock this time, there was absolutely no brooding in his voice. No regrets, no sadness. There was actually hope in his voice. And while there was definitely a hunger there, a need to go to the docks, there was a certain finality in his voice. One that suggested that this would be the last time...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She sat there as she waited for him to answer her, her arms remaining wrapped about his neck as she tilted her head and softly brushed her lips against her mark on the side of his neck. He hadn't gotten too upset over anything in the files, which was good...though reading about the entire Earth thing....well that had been very unsettling for her, even if she tried her best to not let it show. She knew that he had killed that man, she just hadn't known that it had all been planned out from the very beginning. Which made her sick to her stomach because of where it had almost landed both of them. Her, losing her mind and him on that dock with a gun to his head.

Shaking her head slightly as to wipe away the thoughts she would run her tongue along her lips before lightly kissing that spot on his neck, pulling back once she heard him speak. When he told her he needed to go to the dock with the files she would arch her brow just slightly, though nod in the end, more than happy to go with him if he needed her to. "Sure baby...I just need to grab my shoes..." A little smile given before she would press a kiss to his lips and then slowly slide herself out of his lap.

She had heard the tone he used when bringing up that place, and there was definitely something different about it. He never spoke of it so...plainly...with so much finality....She didn't know what he planned to do, but if he wished her to be there, then she would be there. Moving toward where her shoes were, she would slip them on, her hand tucking a few strands of hair back from her face.

Once done, she would turn back towards him, that smile still in place as she smoothed her hand down over her t-shirt. "Ready.." A little nod given before she would move to help him gather up all the files. "You are sure about this though?" Just wanting to make sure as she continued to gather them up, casting him a little glance to try and read his expression. She didn't want him doing anything he wasn't ready for after all.

[Legion]

Patrick felt that kiss on his neck as he asked her to come with him. When she said yes, Patrick couldn't help but give a little smile. He wanted to do this with her so badly. He didn't want to do this unless it was with her, furthermore he wasn't sure if he could unless she was there with him. Patrick would return her kiss with a smile, nodding as she got up. He was glad she was coming with him, really he was.

As she got up so would he, going downstairs to quickly grab some lighter fluid. A hand reaching into his pocket to make sure that he still had a lighter on him. Patrick needed to make sure that he could without a doubt destroy those files. Because so long as they were all gone, he was free. Free to live his life with Kazumi without fear of them coming after him, or sending the cops after him. But for once, he felt waves of relief, as weird as that might sound.

Walking upstairs he saw her gathering up the files and he moved to help her, placing them in that backpack. The bag he didn't care about. It was empty save for the files. He might burn that as well. As they gathered up the files and she asked him if he was sure about that he would say softly, "Yeah..."

He was ready. Ready to put this all behind him. After years, he was tired of this. He was ready for it to be over. So yeah. When he was done gathering up the files he'd throw the bag over his shoulder and motion for the door. Walking outside after hitting the key code he'd make his way to his truck before opening her door for her. After she got in, so would he and he'd start the truck driving off in a calm silence.

When they finally got there he'd put the truck into park shutting off the engine. Though he'd make no move to get out yet, just staring down the end of the dock...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She would place the files in his backpack...the one, to be honest, she didn't even know he had...But whatever, she wasn't really concerned about that, she was just worried about how he was going to handle doing this. As he came back up to help her finish putting things away, once more assuring her that this was what he wanted she would simply nod and step back.

As he moved toward the door, she would follow, making sure to grab her jacket from by the front door as she did so. She didn't typically wear her hood when he was with her, at least not anymore, but she still carried the jacket with her, just in case. So, pulling it on, she left the hood down and would go around to get into the truck, curling into the seat as she waited for him to get in.

The drive there was quiet, but she was okay with that. She was thinking over everything that she had learned about him from those files, trying to decide if any of it really mattered. Yes, it was a part of who he was today, and none of it was really good...but the acts themselves she did not think mattered, at least not to her. She knew that he did not want any part of that kind of life anymore. She knew that he was tired of the killing and the running....constantly having to watch his back. She just wasn't so sure he was entirely ready to let go.

He said he was, but she could understand how that could be hard when it came right down to it. As they got to the dock, she would shift in the seat, noticing that he turned off the truck yet made no move to get out right away. Her brow furrowing, a little hint of concern in her gaze, she would reach over and rest her hand upon the back of his own, fingers curling about to grip his hand softly. "I love you baby..."

Her best, more reassuring and loving smile given to him as she would simply nod and then fall silent. She wasn't going to rush him...figuring that this was something that he might have to take his time in actually going through with, for whatever reason. She just wanted him to know that she was here for him, no matter what.

[Legion]

Patrick felt her hand on the back of his and he gave a weak little smile. He appreciated the encouragement, he really did. It's not that he was hesitant in letting it go though, not at this point anyway. He just couldn't help but think of the past. Not living in it, but just thinking of everything that had led up to this point. He wasn't really sure if it was good, or healthy to not really care, that things had turned out this way, maybe even be glad? No, it wasn't good to think that, but at the same time he knew that if things hadn't turned out the way he had, he would not have met Kazumi. He didn't know what to think but he was glad he had met Kazumi, he loved her more then anything. Patrick figured though, that it was pointless to think about how things might have turned out because they didn't and you couldn't change that.

All the same though, he had to think of the past. Yeah, he had his regrets. He had a ton of them. But that was his baggage. He'd have to live with what he'd done for the rest of his life, even if he let go. There was no changing that. But that being said, he couldn't change it, so why dwell on it right? Just remember the mistakes you made, how you got there and don't do it again. Simple. Not quite, but Patrick was tired of being stuck in the past. And he was ready to let go.

Patrick turned his head to face Kazumi smiling as she told him that she loved him, "And I love ye Kazumi, so much."

He loved that smile on her face, that one that let him know that he was loved. He didn't think he'd be where he was today without her. About to finally let go. To live his life.

After another smile Patrick would turn back to face the dock. The dock where he had failed, almost five years ago. The one where Zea was killed. It was entirely his fault she died. Even though he stopped if he had never started in the first place she'd be alive. Yeah, Patrick knew that he was pushed down his path. But he knew that he chosen to follow that path anyway. It didn't save him from being guilty. And then, with the chance to save her he had failed. She had been killed in front of his eyes. He couldn't save her.

But at that thought he looked once again to Kazumi, with a smile. He hadn't failed with her. He saved her. He was glad that he could. That he hadn't been doomed to failure. Patrick wasn't sure why, but it was his success with her that allowed him to come here today. A smile crossed his face once more, looking at her before he grabbed the bag and the lighter fluid saying, "Let's go."

Stepping out of the truck and taking a step forward he'd wait for Kazumi to walk around the truck and stand next to him. Taking her hand he'd walk down the dock. As he did he couldn't help but marvel how different it looked. Now it was desolate and bare. A far cry from how it was before, with structures everywhere. But then again, time changes everything. He made his way down to where the sole blood stain lay. The last place he saw Zea, ever.

Behind the spot was the red headed woman,

"Patrick," She said casually greeting him.

"Zea," Patrick replied, no pain in his voice, greeting her as she did him. But unlike every other time he had talked to her ghost and for once, he looked her in the eyes, something he had never been able to do, "It's been a long time."