A Bullet Always Tells the Truth(Kaz)

[Kazumi O'Connor]

The images kept running through her mind, flashbacks as well as the various pictures that had been fed to her through that device. Over and over she had been forced to watch things, some she remembered, some were just a blur. It was hard even to determine what was real or what wasn't anymore.

Yet when he spoke of only being able to offer her comfort, she would nod, slowly trying to pull herself back from that moment, back from that place. A little sigh as she would turn her body just a bit and once more allow herself to curl up against him. Gradually she began to pull herself under control, a soft breath exhaled as she closed her eyes and let her mind drift back to his previous question. The one pertaining to the blackouts. "Yes....I blackout...I will be doing something, and then...I...I don't know what happens..b..but I wake up somewhere else..."

She shook her head, nibbling upon her lower lip as she thought back over the many times she had blacked out. "I..I end up with these...bruises...and stuff on me....I don't know how...o..or why..." She gave a little whimper and and shrugged as she tried to keep her mind focused on what she was saying, on the times that she had blacked out. They never made sense, but she knew that afterwards she always felt so exhausted and so worn out.

"I try so hard to remember, but I can't....and nobody seems to notice anything different about me....Or at least...nobody says anything...so I...I..dont know..." She sighed. It was all very confusing, but she tried not to dwell on it too much. She knew that if she did, then she would lose her mind trying to figure it out.

Shaking her head just a bit, she nuzzled into him once more, falling silent. A little sigh, exhausted, though be it emotionally or otherwise, even she wasn't entirely sure. She just knew that she suddenly felt so drained and so.....tired.

[Legion]

Patrick gave a little sigh as she curled up in his arms again. He gave a slight frown as she explained her blackouts to him. Patrick was sure he had a pretty good idea of what was going on. Blacking out randomly, waking up with bruises. It reminder him of Narin. The man had something similar, though he was having trouble remembering the name of the alter ego, envy was it? Patrick was pretty sure that Phee hadn't left Kazumi at all, in fact he was pretty sure that Faux Earth had helped Phee take more power then she should in Kazumi's mind. That was something that Patrick didn't have proof of though and so he was hesitant to share his theory.

Patrick also wasn't a psychiatrist either, so he was unsure of what the procedure would be for that either. The irishman didn't want to rush into anything prematurely. If she asked, Patrick doubted he'd lie, but he wasn't sure what he'd say. He was fairly confident that at least one person knew of her "transformations" but he wasn't sure what to say. That her mother was hiding it from her? Sure that may have been a jump in logic but Mrs Badoer seemed too informed and strove to much to be so that it seemed highly unlikely that she'd know nothing. Patrick didn't want to start pointing fingers though, especially when he was uncertain if her mother knew anything other then the happenings of the black outs. He would say one thing though admitting, "That's really weird. I can't imagine what it would be like to lose time, other then blacking out drinking."

As she found her way deeper into his arms Patrick noted that she seemed very tired. The way she fell into his arms. She needed some rest it would seem and so Patrick would suggest it, though he wouldn't make any particular movement just yet, "Ye look tired. Ye want a ride back home?"

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She nodded slightly. It was weird, that much was for sure. To miss huge chunks of your day and know nothing about them or where you had been. But honestly, she didn't know what to do about it. Her mother watched her so closely these days, as if she was waiting on something to happen, but as far as she knew, nothing had happened while she was around the older woman. If there had, then surely her Mom would be acting differently and less on edge, and truth be told, she had not told her Mother about the blackouts. After losing Ezekial, Kazumi had completely shut herself down toward the rest of her family. Which, at the moment, consisted of her Momma Kev....Mischa was with Aiden in Italy, Ezekial was in rehab, and though she was sure she could try and talk to Cael or Ira, she was scared they would tell Uncle Gabriel, who would in turn tell her Mom....So yeah, no matter which way she turned, she just couldn't bring herself to open up to anyone in her family, at least not right now.

"I...I don't know....I u..usually don't stay home m..much when my Momma Kev is there." She shrugged. It was why she had left tonight, having been trapped in that house with Kevala as her only company was not easy. She loved the woman, but yeah, things always seemed so tense between the two. Even more so now that Ezekial was gone. Kaz could swear it was like somebody had torn a part of Kev's soul out....But then, she had never liked the idea of losing her son, everyone in the family knew that.

"But...I guess that I should get some sleep....While I can." Because once the light came out, she wouldn't sleep at all...no matter how tired she was. True, she had blacked out her room, painted the window with black paint to make sure that no light slid through, hung dark curtains and tried her best to block out any and all light....but still, bits of it seemed to sneak its way in and rouse her from her slumber. "You sure you don't mind?" She didn't want to make him go out of his way or anything, just being for her here, now ...well that was more than she could really hope for...to ask for more just felt selfish...A little hand moving upward to rest flat against his chest, little fingers curling into the front of his shirt as she closed her eyes once more, content to stay pressed against him for a least a bit longer....enjoying every moment like this that she was given. Especially since they seemed so rare these days.

[Legion]

"I could always take you to another place, a motel or hotel or something," Patrick suggested. Hell, she had done the same for him, it would really only be returning the favor. But then she seemed to agree to go home, leaving Patrick to simply say, "Whatever ye think is best though."

If she wanted to go home, then perhaps it was for the better but either way Patrick wouldn't argue. It seemed far more paramount at this point for her to get somewhere comfortable and rest. Where ever that was was where ever that was. Patrick gave a slight smile as he watched her head against his chest, gripping the vest that he wore with her hand on his chest. He knew that they couldn't be anything, given all the circumstances around them, but still it was nice. He was glad she was alive, even if she was left worse for the wear. She was resilient, Patrick was sure that she'd bounce back in some way.

"It's not a problem at all Kazumi," Patrick would say with a smile. The irishman really didn't mind, in fact he owed it to her. Perhaps it was his turn to give a little back, though he didn't begin to think that he could hope to ever fully repay her. Though it wasn't duty that pushed him to do this, it really was genuine care, which while being odd for Patrick at this stage in the game felt right. Perhaps there still was a little humanity inside of him after all.

He would wait for Kazumi to make her decision and begin to move herself before he would do anything, not particularly wanting this moment of closeness to end but also not wanting to push the girl either...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

At the mention of a hotel she would give a little bite to her lower lip, debating on the matter for a moment before she would nod. "A hotel sounds good...I...I have my money with me...s..so..." A shakey little hand moving to try and pull her wallet out from the inside of her jacket pocket, a little growl as she had trouble doing so.

Eventually, she gave up, figuring she could worry about it once the managed to make it to a hotel...though to be honest, she didn't quite want to move just yet, instead opting to curl up a bit more tightly against him, her nose softly brushing against the side of his neck as she nuzzled into him. "Thank you..." Speaking the words softly before she would eventually force herself to peel away from him. A little sigh passing her lips as she worked to force herself back onto her feet.

Once she was upright, she would move about trying to straighten out her clothes, tugging on her jacket to get it back in place and then reaching up to pull the hood back up over her head. Just something about being as hidden as possible always seemed to help keep her calm, and seeing as how they would be forced to go into an area where there were more people...well it just seemed like the better option here.

Eventually, once she was situated, she would turn her attention back to him. Those blue eyes looking out at him from under the hood of her jacket as she forced a weak little smile onto her features. "I...I guess we..we should go?" Nervously fidgeting as she shifted from one foot to the other. She wasn't really ready to.....not by a long shot. It was for the most part peaceful here and on top of that, she had enjoyed being curled up so close to him...It had felt good...First bit of good she had felt since Ezekial went away.

[Legion]

The hotel it would be then. She started to struggle to get her wallet, as she did, failing Patrick would gently grab her wrist shaking his head, "It's fine, I got it."

It really was no big deal. Money wasn't really an object to him. While he held no doubt that Kazumi's family had much more then he did Patrick had a small fortune himself. Though, that wasn't through legitimate means at all. Long story short, it was stolen from people he had killed back in the day. It had funded his private war on crime, which seemed like a bad comic book, looking back on it. (But for real, the punisher's the freaking man). But he had more then enough left over to take care of himself for a modest life if he so chose.

She tightened grip on him, feeling her nose work its way into his neck Patrick softly stroked her hair, holding her to him. He had to admit, it really did feel good to be close to someone, despite all the reservations he still held, but having lost her once, he wasn't too keen on letting her go. Sighing along with her as he forced himself up. He had his own sorting to do with his clothing though it wasn't quite the same. Patrick pulled his coat over his holster, making sure that the pistol was concealed. It would not do for him to be caught now. He even closed his coat, decided he didn't need to draw attention to them by having people asking about a busted kevlar vest. After he was done he gave a look to her, noting that the her hood was up, and although he wasn't quite certain that there wasn't a component of her past experiences forcing her to put the hood up he wasn't going to say anything.

"Yeah, let's get off this god forsaken dock," Patrick said, a little emotion creeping into his voice, starting off, but not before one last lingering look at the large blood stain Kazumi had been standing on.

But he quickly shook that out of his mind as he walked to the end of the dock, waiting and making sure she was following him. His truck wasn't very far off as they would make there way in the darkness, a lone street lamp lighting the way every so often. When they made it to the truck Patrick would unlock it saying, "Sorry, it's a bit dirty."

He would get in, moving some empty paper bags off the passenger's seat. It wasn't atrociously dirty, but it was also pretty evident that Patrick was living out of his truck. After she had gotten in Patrick would start his beater and drive off saying, "I'm gonna drive a little out of the way, try and get to a hotel where ye won't have to pull the mattress on the floor to sleep."

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She would follow along, casting a glance back to the spot he had been looking at, noting the blood stain and her mind working to put pieces together. It wasn't hard, she had heard enough from him that night she had found him on the street, drunk out of his mind, to know what this spot likely was. That of course being the reason why she didn't say anything.

Instead, she would follow along with him toward the truck, a little shrug given as he apologized for it being dirty. "Aft....After living in that room I was in for....I..I think Zeke said it was .....three months?...Yeah...dirty has a whole new meaning.." She would try to force a little smile on her lips, though the shudder that ran through her entire body was too hard to miss. Still, she just shook it off and would crawl into the truck.

It took her only a few minutes, once inside, to notice the state of it and the fact that he was likely living here. Her brow furrowing slightly as she nibbled upon her lower lip and would place her small hands in her lap. Little fingers began to twist about together, not sure what to say, though nodding as he spoke about the hotel. "Okay..."

Her head down, those eyes watching her fingers as they twisted and fidgeted about. A long moment of silence given before she would hesitantly breach the subject. "Y..You stay...here?" Swallowing down the lump in her throat, trying to force her words to come out a bit more clearly....rather irritated with herself and her newest nervous habit. Like she had not already had enough of them, what with always hiding behind her brothers and letting them handle things for her. Now, well now she couldn't even articulate what she wanted to say right.

Eventually though, she would turn her head, again peering out at him from under the cover of her hood, rather comforted by the darkness that it created around her, seeing as how that was where she felt the most comfortable. A slight brush of her tongue to her lower lip as she shifted a bit in her seat.

[Legion]

"I guess ye'd have a point there," giving a nervous little chuckle to her attempt at what he thought was a joke. Though he was unsure, deciding to only offer a half chuckle. Noting her shudder, Patrick was reminded that things were still very fresh in her mind. Perhaps that was ill timed and ill advised. Patrick frowned.

As he drove Patrick would reach for his pistol, making sure there were no cops, just in case. When he was comfortable in decided there weren't he'd pull the pistol out, driving with one hand as he dropped the clip out, and slide the action back, ejecting the shell that had been in the chamber. Unloading the gun Patrick reached under his seat putting the gun and the clip below where he was sitting but off the floor. So that the gun wouldn't be visible. With the state of his truck, both inside and out he didn't have a problem keeping unwanteds out of his vehicle simply because it didn't look like he had anything anyway.

"Yeah," Patrick chuckled at her question, it wasn't a big deal nor was he ashamed, this was just life and the street kid deep down inside of Patrick was proud to have such a good shelter, "Lived in her for a few years now. Beats living in a roach infested apartment in the wrong neighborhood or winters on the streets. Good times."

Patrick shrugged, a slight bit of nostalgia for those times forcing a grin to curl on his lips. Survival had been paramount. Stealing to get by, looking for safe places to stay. It seemed like such a game now. Life on the streets had been so much simpler...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She would continue to fidget a bit nervously, not really phased by the gun other than the thought of what he had been doing with it when she happened upon him. Nodding a bit though, she would look around the truck once more.

She couldn't imagine having to live on the streets, that much was for sure, but at the same time, she couldn't imagine that living in a truck was much better. Yet he didn't seem too phased by it and for that reason she did not dwell on the matter all that much. "I guess I have always just been a bit...s...spoiled...what with...m..my moms having always had money..."

She shrugged slightly and would reach up, under her hood to tuck her hair back behind her ears. Even hidden it seemed to get in her way more often than she would have liked. The thought had crossed her mind, a time or two lately, to cut it off....but yeah...she didn't think she could nor did she think anyone in her family would be too happy with her for that. For the most part, she was the baby of the family, despite being older than all the boys, save for Aiden....And boy did they ever treat her like it.

Not that she minded, she just wished they were closer than what they currently were....A stab of pain felt in her chest at the thought of how she had gotten so close to Ezekial only to lose him....though, the fact that he was off getting better....well that helped. "Up until....al...all this happened....I had ne..never really paid attention to...to how lucky I have it.."

She sighed, feeling like a rather bad person for taking all her things in life for granted up until now. But at least that had changed, she cherished every little luxury now like she wouldn't have it again tomorrow.

[Legion]

"It's whatever," Patrick shrugged, "Different situation, different circumstances, different problems."

He'd never put much stock in how much better the "rich" kids had it. Seemed like a waste of time. Though he at least had found a sense of pride in living on the streets. That everyday he made it through was because he earned it. A self made, self reliant man and all that jazz. There was a sense of pride in making his own way. And after all that he didn't have time, nor had he ever cared to find out how the rich kids validated their existence. That always had been and always would be their prerogative.

But what really got him thinking was what she said about not knowing how good she had it. Patrick stopped on that, pausing and thinking. Sure, he had never had everything in the world, but that wasn't what she was referring to. Maybe that was part of it, but that wasn't the important thing. He had to agree with her though. After another pause Patrick sighed, "Rarely do we recognize how fortunate we are until it's too late."

It was the truth plain and simple. Human nature really. In the rat race of life trying to get more and more, thinking that just a little more will be enough. Well, the truth was you probably had enough, but greed kept you from seeing that. Sad fact of life that that generally had to be learned the hard way.

After a bit more of driving and a few neighborhoods later Patrick would be content to start looking for a place for Kazumi to stay for the night, though where? that was the real question...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She nodded. It was hard not to agree with that. Hell, she remembered the first night she had come back, when Ezekial had put her in that bubble bath to clean away all the filth and grime from her body. How amazing those bubbles had been, how she could not help but think of the hundreds of times she had taken a bath just like that...never really noticing how special it was until then.

But then, that had been the same with pretty much everything she had in her life. The clothes that she used to wear, the room she had....hell even her brothers who she loved more than life itself had been taken for granted up until now. A fact that had been made all too clear the moment she had Zeke back in her life. Gods how much she missed Aiden though....just thinking about him was enough to bring tears to her eyes, making her happy that she was hidden behind that hood and away from sight. It did nobody any good for her to start getting worked up over something she couldn't change. She had begged her Mother to send her to Italy to be with him and Momma Mischa, but ultimately, she had refused. She said it was for Kaz's own good, but in her mind, Kazumi could not see how living so far away from her twin was a good thing at all. "Yeah...th...that's the truth. I took so m..many people for granted...Then, when I th...thought that I would never see them again, I started to think about all the things I should have said to them, the....the things I should have done...."

It was at that point that she cast a little sideways glance toward him from the corner of her eyes, just turning her head slightly to do so....Sure, there were things that she wished she could have done differently with him, things she wished she could have said or changed...But that was in the past, and there was nothing she could do about that now...All she could do was try to do things right this time around. "I...I really..w...wish that things could have been...different...between....u..us.." She spoke softly, almost hesitantly, as she sighed and would then turn to look out the window.

She knew that it was both of their faults that things had ended up the way they had. Though, the dying part had been nobodies fault really, well save for Earth. "I...I am sorry also...t..that I...broke my promise too...." She had promised, that night in the hotel, that she wasn't going to leave him like everyone else....That she would always be there....if he needed her....She wasn't going anywhere....Clearly she had messed that one up, not intentionally of course, but still. She felt sorry for it just the same.

[Legion]

"All that thinkin about what ye should of done will tear ye up," Patrick said. It wasn't worth it to do all that thinking on the past, what you should have done, said, whatever. You couldn't change that and it would tear you up and spit you out if you continued to dwell on it. Not that Patrick was so great at listening to his own advice there, but do as he says and not as he does huh?

"It sounds like ye might have a second chance," Patrick observed, sure, everyone was gone from her life now, but they weren't dead. There were chances to rekindle those relationships, renew them. It was not a chance that Patrick was afforded, but he was glad at least that she had that chance, she deserved it, "Not many people get that."

When she started to say that she had wished things had been different between them he was inclined to agree. Patrick did wish that things had gone down differently, but he knew that they could not have. He was a runner, had been all his life. He had liked her at the time but that didn't change what he had done. Mixed feelings of duty to her and fear of her dying had prompted him to run, to keep him from getting close. Hell he was still scared, especially now. Even though her death had been averted it didn't change the fact that it could happen again, this time for real. And that was something he feared. Sure there may be some sort of second chance here, but Patrick didn't see it as one for anything but a possible friendship, if that. He had been a raging dick last time around, if after this night she wanted anything to do with him, he'd be surprised, though perhaps he shouldn't be knowing her actions every other time he had tried pushing her away.

"Yeah, me too," Patrick said, fully agreeing with her, knowledge not changing the wish, "I fucked that one up pretty bad."

But that was one of the things Patrick was world class at, fucking things up in one way or another. Truth.

"Ye didn't break nothing," Patrick said calmly glancing over at her, no accusation being in his voice, he gave a slight chuckle as he said "I think ye deserve a pass on that one."

No, Patrick didn't blame her, for anything. She might have saw their little saga as being both of their faults, but not Patrick. He was the one that had been consistently and fully in the wrong. Throwing everything back in her face. Why should she have continued to try after that? She afforded him far more chances then he deserved or should have gotten and he had fucked up each and everyone, at least that was Patrick's logic.

He began to circle around the neighborhood they were in, swearing there was a hotel of some sort somewhere here...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She would just shake her head slightly at his words. She didn't fully blame him, when she knew that she should have done things differently as well. She should have stopped being so shy, should have told him straight out what she felt and maybe, just maybe things would have worked out differently. She could never know, not now...but she still wanted to be his friend, she still wanted to be close to him.

In her mind, she had already forgiven him for every time he threw her kindness back in her face. Hell, she had never really been mad over it. Hurt? Yes, that she had been. More than anyone could possibly imagine. But she never told anyone how intensely she felt things....One, because they probably wouldn't believe her, and two, because even if they did, it would just make her out to be some kind of freak.....Or so she told herself. "You have nothing to be sorry for....B..But at least now we...we have a chance to be....f...friends." She nodded, and would even force a little smile onto her lips once more.

She cared about him, though to be honest, if you asked her why, she couldn't really give an exact reason. She just did. A part of her had since that first day they met, and it had only intensified afterwards, even with all the efforts he made to push her away. But she knew better than to think that she would ever be worth enough to be more than just his friend. If she had not been enough before, surely, after everything that had been done to her, she was not anywhere close to being good enough now. But then, in her mind, the things that Earth had done to her had ruined her ......She was just lucky that Ezekial had not thought that.....Issac too, though that didn't seem to matter anymore.

But no matter how much they had told her that she wasn't ruined, or worthless or......dirty...She could never shake the feeling, and she was sure that she would always feel that way....and pretty convinced that everyone else would see her that way as well. "I...I think..t..there is one over...there..." She wasn't sure, but she thought that she had spotted a hotel in the process of driving around.

Her hands still in her lap, red marks appearing on her flesh where her nails had been biting into her skin as she fidgeted. It was a nasty habit, one she was trying to break, but only when she was able to remind herself not to do such a thing. She had been getting better there for awhile....but then when Ezekial had left...and then Issac....well that had sent her right back to where she had started.

[Legion]

"Friends. huh," Patrick said contemplatively, "I think I'd like that."

That much was a stretch. He didn't deserve it. After what he did, sleeping with her and then pretending she didn't exist? Patrick couldn't even contemplate how he had thought that that was okay. Sure it seemed right at the time, dealing with it the way he did but man. He deserved nothing from her. Any chance of being with her struck from his mind, because why would or should she ever open herself up to him again. That was just foolishness. While Patrick might have been curious to know what might have been it was really a moot point.

Friends though, at least he could have that. Still sounded strange though. He hadn't considered himself friends with anyone in years. A lot of enemies though, so at least Che Guevara would be satisfied. He gave a weak smile at the thought. Though the idea of losing someone close to him like that scared him far more then he cared to admit, it was worth a shot right? Didn't she say something along those lines? Well, if she didn't there was something obligatory about life being to short to go along with reasons as to why he should try.

She pointed out where she thought there was a hotel and well, Patrick had no idea where the hell he was going so he listened. Sure enough, she was right. Patrick pulled into the parking lot putting the truck in park. As he shut off the truck he pulled off his coat, moving to undo the Velcro straps that kept his vest on. He really didn't need to draw more attention to himself. After he did that, throwing the stuff next to him he'd pause for a second.

There was something he had to say, this time really to her. Not in some random obscure, to no one in particular way. Not when he was about to end his life making his apology moot anyway. Patrick sighed, "Kazumi, I'm sorry I pretended ye didn't exist. That nothing happened between us. I know I hurt ye when I did that, more so then other people would be and I'm sorry."

Yeah, her mother had told him that. Back when everyone thought she was dead though but still. Patrick had found out, and that had made him regret his actions all the more. She had said that he had nothing to be sorry for but that was wrong. He did and he felt like he had to apologize to her, with words like a normal human being...

[Kazumi O'Connor]

She would again let a little smile crawl onto her lips, nodding to his words. She liked the sound of that too, though she couldn't help but wonder what could have been if things had been different. She always would probably.

As they pulled into the parking lot, she would wait a moment before climbing out of the truck, moving around and looking up at him as he began to speak. Listening to what he had to say, she lowered her eyes for a moment, unable to hide that little flash of pain that surfaced within them, though she quickly pushed it away. However, something in his words caught her attention, and she would again look up at him, a bit confused by what he had said. "M...More than other peo...people?" Oh she knew what it meant, she just didn't know how he knew. She never told anyone, ever. Only Aiden really knew how deeply she felt things, hence why he had always been so over protective of her.

Still, she would hurry to finish her words before he could fully answer her, wanting to get the rest of it out of the way before she forgot, or got lost in what he was about to say. "I..I knew...wh...what I was getting into when I sl..slept with you...I mean, you lied about your..n..name so I couldn't expect you to want me......" And by want she meant as more than what it had been....a one night stand basically...But she didn't think she had to elaborate on that for him to understand.

"I...I know that....I wasn't....e..enough back then...And I..I am sorry...I just....I..cared about you ....a l..lot.." Her eyes lowering along with her head as she began to fidget once more, nervousness taking over and her next words leaving in a little whisper, though he was close enough he would surely hear her. "I s..s...still do..." She would then seem to try and shrink down into her jacket, trying to hide away. Not because she didn't want to feel that way for him, but because she was more than sure that the idea was disgusting, given.....well given how utterly horrible she was now.....

"I...I wish t..that he...he hadn't....r..r..ruined me...like he did...M..Maybe then I..I could have tried to...to....be more.." She felt the heat of her tears as the spilled from her eyes again, though this time concealed by the hood which was now hiding her from view. But that did not stop the crack in her voice, or the small tremble that ran through her entire body. Falling silent now, allowing him time to finally answer her question about how he had known about her emotional state, if he chose to that is....Honestly she wouldn't have been surprised if he just got in his truck and left her here now...